In 2014, I stood on the podium of the New York Stock Exchange, surrounded by my Care.com colleagues, making history as only the seventh female founder to take her company public. It was a monumental milestone, representing years of hard work, resilience, and the pursuit of a vision that many doubted. But my journey didn’t start there. As a woman of color, an immigrant, and a female entrepreneur focused on serving women and families, I faced unique challenges, countless stereotypes, and immense pressure to prove my worth.
Through it all, I discovered three invaluable lessons that shaped my path to success—lessons that can inspire and empower anyone striving to break barriers in their industry.
1. Embracing Authenticity Unlocks True Strength
Society places expectations on us from an early age, especially for women. Growing up in the Philippines in the ‘70s and ‘80s, I was often reminded that girls should be passive, pleasing, and perfect—what I call the ‘Three P’s’ that continue to burden many women, especially those of Asian descent.
My family also had a clear career roadmap for my siblings and me: we were each assigned a profession. My future was preordained—I was to become a lawyer. But life had other plans. In 1991, after my sophomore year at Mount Holyoke, I became pregnant—a significant detour from the path my parents had set for me. Undeterred, I embraced both motherhood and my academic aspirations, earning my BA and later a JD/MBA.
Yet, as I entered the workforce, I struggled with how others perceived me. I deliberately concealed my role as a young mother during job interviews, fearing it would make me seem less committed. I couldn’t hide being a woman of color, but I could hide being a mom. I was determined to fit the mold of a driven, ambitious professional whose only focus was success.
What I later realized was that my vulnerabilities—being a woman, a mother, and an immigrant—were actually my superpowers. They gave me unique insights that led to the creation of Care.com. When I founded the company, I made it a priority to build a workplace where no one felt the need to hide who they were, where employees could bring their whole selves to work without fear of judgment. Authenticity became a core value, not just for me, but for the entire company culture.
2. Empathy Builds Stronger Relationships and Teams
By the early 2000s, I had ascended to the role of Vice President at UPromise, a consumer rewards company helping families save for college. It was a high-stakes environment, and I expected my team to work with the same relentless drive I had cultivated through years of rigorous academic and professional training. I had survived Harvard’s JD/MBA program on sheer willpower and all-nighters—why couldn’t everyone else?
At the same time, I struggled with my expectations at home. My eldest son, Ryan, bore the brunt of my ‘tiger mom’ parenting style. Because he was Asian, I believed he had to play a string instrument. Because he was Filipino, I expected him to play basketball. But he resented my rigid expectations.
The turning point came when my colleagues pulled me aside after a tense meeting. “Be intense with outcomes, but chill with people,” they told me. That phrase became a guiding principle in both my leadership and personal life.
I learned that relationships matter more than relentless pursuit of results. Success isn’t just about achieving goals—it’s about how you uplift and empower those around you. When I later built Care.com, I made sure to foster a culture that valued collaboration, kindness, and respect, ensuring that every team member felt seen, heard, and appreciated.
3. Your Struggles Can Inspire Your Greatest Ideas
Care.com wasn’t just a business venture—it was born out of my own struggles. While working at UPromise, I faced the dual pressures of raising young children and caring for an aging parent. When my father had a heart attack while holding my infant son, I realized firsthand how overwhelming caregiving responsibilities could be. The experience made it clear: millions of families needed support, and no existing service fully addressed this need.
Despite my passion for solving this problem, I hesitated. The tech world, dominated by male investors, often dismissed caregiving as a ‘women’s issue’—not a lucrative business opportunity. I worried: Would investors take me seriously? Would they recognize the economic value of a company designed to support caregivers, mostly women?
Ultimately, I decided to embrace my identity and experience, rather than suppress it. I built Care.com to provide millions of families with access to trusted caregivers while also creating job opportunities for caregivers worldwide. I championed caregiving as an economic imperative that enables female entrepreneurship, workforce participation, and economic growth.
It wasn’t easy. Many investors underestimated me. But instead of focusing on how others valued me, I focused on the value I could bring to the world. My persistence paid off—Care.com grew to become the largest online marketplace for caregivers globally, impacting millions of lives.
A New Chapter: Building on the Lessons of the Past
The moment I rang the bell at the New York Stock Exchange, my son Ryan—now 21—gave a toast. He told the room full of investors, bankers, and executives that I had been a great mom. That moment meant more to me than any valuation, IPO, or business milestone. It affirmed that success isn’t just about professional achievements—it’s about the impact we have on the people we love and the lives we touch.
Today, I’m embarking on a new journey with my latest venture, Ohai.ai, an AI-powered assistant designed to support ‘chief household officers’—the unsung heroes managing families and households. With the lessons of Care.com and the wisdom gained through years of experience, I’m excited to continue solving real-world challenges for families using technology and innovation.
As I move forward, I remain committed to a fundamental truth: Success isn’t about fitting into expectations. It’s about rewriting the rules, embracing authenticity, leading with empathy, and turning personal struggles into powerful innovations.
No matter where you are in your journey, remember this—your unique experiences, challenges, and perspectives are your greatest strengths. Own them. Harness them. And most importantly, use them to create something extraordinary.
